Finally!
by crimson jewel
Summary: A few words will tell you what happened so I'll just say I believe Wolverine and Rogue are supposed to be together. Darker beginning.


Set sometime after X-2, before any "X-3"  
  
It had been almost two months since Jean died, and the school for the most part was starting to pull out of its slump. A new doctor named Lisa had taken over her job. She was kind and cared for her patients, making them feel wanted, but she just wasn't Jean. Nothing was the same without her. Hit hardest were Scott and Logan. While not really befriending each other, they seemed to communicate better, both sharing a similar sense of loss. Both recognized it in the other; Scott somewhat reluctantly, Logan somewhat grudgingly.  
  
Rogue paced in her room. Her roommates were all out having lunch, but she'd turned down Bobbie's lunch invitation and stayed in. He'd been worried about her lately, she'd noticed, but her attention had been elsewhere. Ever since she'd touched Logan, absorbing his gift for a short while, she could feel him, inside her head. There was still a link there, and it made his obvious grief more potent to her. He'd avoided her since Jean died. In truth, he'd avoided everyone, but it still felt as if he was avoiding her specifically. Perhaps he was, since she seemed to be able to connect with him better than any other person.  
She heaved a sigh and sat on the edge of her bed, elbows on her knees, burying her face in her hands. She let her hair fall forward over her face and hands and stared for a moment at the white tresses. Then she closed her eyes and focused on that part of her created by her contact with Logan. Sometimes, if she concentrated hard enough, she felt she could almost break through and see into his thoughts. But this time the link seemed all but severed, and she let out a deep sound of frustration and stood.  
She'd never thought of herself as depressive. Then again, she was a teen, and mood swings seemed to come as natural as breathing. She felt her mood and thoughts darken. She felt a questioning touch in her mind. * Are you all right, Rogue? * It was the professor. He must have realized she hadn't gone to lunch and noticed the darkening of her thoughts. She clamped down on them, mentally shutting herself off.  
* I'm fine, Professor. Thanks, * she thought back, and then closed her mind off best she could. She realized with a startling certainty what she meant to do. The thought excited and scared her, sending a thrill down her spine. She concentrated hard on the lyrics and sound of her favorite song, and moved towards the bathroom she shared with her roommates.  
She hesitated only once, remembering a conversation with Logan long ago.  
* I can't show you all the scares I have from trying to kill myself. * She dropped her eyes to her gloved hands for a moment, then went back to the song, now singing the words under her breath. She felt the professor withdraw his questioning probe and relaxed a bit.  
Seating herself on the edge of the bathtub, she carefully pulled off her gloves and rubbed her hand together. Feeling a bit in a daze, unable to quite grasp the severity of this choice, she reached for the razor.  
It wasn't until she'd drawn blood that the reality of what she was doing hit her. But it wasn't that realization that hit her hardest. She realized, with a finality that shook her, that she didn't care. She was a bit scared about what to expect when it was over, but he felt a surge of relief.  
No more pain in her heart whenever she saw Logan's face. No more wishing to be able to touch someone skin-to-skin. She made another, deeper cut, just above the first. The blood began to flow freely, and she could see a faint quickening every time her heart beat. She leaned to turn on the warm water and then closed her eyes and relaxed.  
A moment later there was a familiar touch in her mind. She tried to shut it out again, but couldn't. Already she'd lost a lot of blood and was weakening. She looked down at her wrist and felt alarms go off in her head. Then Professor Xavier's voice filled her mind, telling her to get up, to stop the bleeding. Too weak to resist, she felt herself stand up and take a step towards the medicine cabinet. But her knees buckled and she fell, just missed hitting her head on the sink.  
"Rogue!" Rogue looked up to see Logan run in, his face drawn and pale. Normally bright eyes, though dulled recently by grief, were dark with worry. She lifted her head as he dropped to her side.  
"Logan," she whispered. He looked down at her wrist, then stood up and grabbed the bandages from the medicine cabinet. He dropped down beside her again and began to bandage her wrist. She watched him, too weak to object, and not sure she would anyway. She noticed with a start that he was touching her skin as he applied the bandage. He flinched slightly every time he did so, and she felt the pain in her wrist lessen as the cuts began to heal.  
He finished bandaging her wrist and lifted her up into his arms, careful to avoid her skin. He carried her out of her room and headed for the infirmary. She let her head rest against his chest and closed her eyes. The slight touches had healed the cut itself, but she'd lost a lot of blood. She let out a deep breath and let herself fall into darkness.  
  
Logan sat beside Rogue's bed, watching her face intently. He looked down, and then reached out and gripped her right hand in both of his. Lisa had replaced Rogue's gloves, so he held her hand without fear. Bobbie had been there, but had left for lunch at Lisa's insistence. Logan had refused to leave her side. Now he was alone with her, and he squeezed her hand, willing her to wake up. She hadn't woken up since she'd passed out in his arms the previous day, and he was growing more worried with every passing hour.  
"Hey kid," he whispered. "You runnin' again?" No response. He sighed. "Listen, kid. You gotta wake up. We need you here. Everyone misses you, especially Bobbie, and-" He paused, thoughts swirling. "All right, kid. Marie. Come on. I-" He hesitated again, and dug deep inside himself. He felt a touch, the professor, and accepted his help, closed his eyes. When he opened them a moment later they were sheened over with tears. "I love you, kid."  
Rogue stirred, squeezed her eyes closed tighter for a moment, and then felt hands surrounding hers. She squeezed them, and turned her head to the right. Without opening her eyes she knew who was there.  
"Logan?" he asked hesitantly. She opened her eyes slowly, and remembered the words that had woken her up. She blinked quickly, clearing her vision, and looked up into his eyes. The tears were still there, and he tried to blink them away before they were too obvious, but she saw them. She frowned slightly and took a deep breath.  
"Hey kid." Her face relaxed and she smiled softly. His voice was a bit rough with repressed emotion. She turned her face towards him a bit more.  
* He loves me? * she thought. She felt Professor Xavier in her mind again.  
* He does indeed. Look inside your own heart, Rogue. You may be a bit surprised at what you find. * She took his advice, closed her eyes.  
"Kid, are you all right?" Logan frowned as Rogue's face paled a little, and then she opened her eyes and looked up at him. He almost gasped at the soul-piercing gaze she turned on him, and saw the words before she spoke them. It didn't make them any less beautiful to hear.  
"I love you, too." It was a whisper, but he heard it as clear as if she'd spoken into his ear. His face softened and he pulled her up into his arms and held her to him tightly. She sighed and rested her cheek on his chest, breathing in his scent deeply and reveling in the warmth of his arms.  
"Don't scare me like that," he said into her hair. She felt tears prick her eyes.  
"I'm sorry," she whispered. She pressed her face against him.  
"Why would you do that?" he asked. She pulled away and looked up at him, tears now running down her face.  
"I don't know. I thought it was because you've been avoiding me or because I can never touch someone again, but I've been dealing with those for a while now." She saw the hurt when she mentioned him avoiding her.  
"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you," he said finally. "I've been pretty much staying away from everyone, but you.you always seemed to see past my facades. I didn't want you to see me hurting." He reached out and wiped the tears from her face. "Come on," he jerked his head towards the door, "let's get out of here. You feel up to it?" She smiled.  
"Absolutely." She sat up and then stood, holding Logan's hand tightly in hers. She leaned against him for a second, for emotional more that physical support, then followed him out of the infirmary, letting the doors slide shut behind them. 


End file.
